She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize