I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
