Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
two words: eviction party
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
