life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
