found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
