Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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