Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
