only if we run a train.
done.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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