well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
