Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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