she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
this boner is exhausting
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Randomize
