I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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