Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
