Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
