Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
