But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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