How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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