there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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