real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
