the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
