I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
