Your tits are I can't wait for
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
