just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
