Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
