There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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