He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
