You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize