i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
vagina is talking i cant
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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