I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize