just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
