My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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