i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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