I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Randomize
