oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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