Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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