I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Green mimosas i think yes
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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