It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
