jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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