he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
