its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
ttyl tear gas
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
