i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
