I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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