i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
