Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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