im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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