Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
A bitchslap is in order.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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