went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
