i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
