keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
