so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
When are your genitals available?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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