Kiss
Puke
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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