They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You took a bar mat shot.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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