and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
should my penis look like a turkey
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
