Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
