I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
