come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
vagina is talking i cant
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
