His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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