My hand turned me down
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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