Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Your tits are I can't wait for
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
A bitchslap is in order.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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