So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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