She said her name was "party"
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
