Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
as a side note pls kill me
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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