What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dude i'm inner monologue high
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Randomize
