When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
