Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize