he shaved USA in his pubs
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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